When Playing Small No Longer Feels Safe: A Story of Healing and Hope

For years, I thought control meant safety. As a heart transplant coordinator, I lived in a world where precision and control could mean the difference between life and death. Every detail mattered. Every contingency needed to be planned for. Playing it safe, staying small, keeping everything carefully managed – these were the tools of survival.

Until they weren't.

I know firsthand what it means to face seemingly insurmountable challenges. I've walked through the depths of severe childhood trauma and professional burnout, and emerged not just surviving, but thriving. This isn't just professional knowledge – it's wisdom earned through personal experience. While every healing journey is unique, the truth I discovered is universal: healing is possible, even from the things that feel impossible to overcome.

There comes a moment when you realize that playing small isn't protecting you anymore. In fact, it's doing the opposite. That moment hit me like a wave: the understanding that my carefully constructed walls weren't keeping me safe – they were keeping me stuck.

Here's what I've learned: True safety isn't about controlling every outcome. It's about trusting your inner knowing. It's about recognizing that there are possibilities beyond what our planning minds can conceive, outcomes more magnificent than our careful calculations could ever produce.

As someone who has both experienced and guided others through transformation, I've witnessed this pattern repeatedly. We grip tightly to control, believing it's our shield against chaos. But what if chaos isn't our enemy? What if the very uncertainty we're fighting is actually the doorway to our greatest healing?

Consider this: Every major breakthrough in medicine, in science, in human consciousness came from someone willing to step beyond the boundaries of what felt "safe." Every transformation requires a moment of surrender – not to defeat, but to possibility.

The future I envision – for healthcare, for our planet, for human potential – isn't going to emerge from playing it safe. It's going to come from those of us willing to trust the process, to put one foot in front of the other without needing to see the entire path. It's going to come from collaboration, from joy, from dancing with uncertainty instead of fighting it.

You might be asking: "But how? How do I know it will work out?"

Here's the liberating truth: That's not your business. Your job isn't to figure out how every piece will fall into place. Your job is to show up, to bring your gifts, to do the work with joy, and to trust that the right collaborators, the right opportunities, the right moments will appear when needed.

This isn't about blind faith. It's about recognizing that there are forces at work greater than our individual control – forces of healing, of collective wisdom, of human resilience. I know this because I've lived it. I've witnessed the impossible become possible, both in my own healing journey and in the transformations of those I work with.

For those of us who have faced trauma, burnout, or any experience that shattered our sense of safety – this journey is both challenging and sacred. It requires us to develop a new kind of security, one based not on controlling outcomes but on trusting our capacity to handle whatever comes.

Here's what I know now: Safety isn't found in playing small. Safety comes from being fully alive, fully expressed, fully engaged with all the possibilities before us. It comes from surrounding ourselves with fellow travelers on this journey, from celebrating each step forward, from trusting that even when we can't see the whole path, we can handle the next step.

Are you ready to redefine what safety means to you?

Because sometimes, the riskiest thing we can do is keep playing it safe. And healing – real, transformative healing – is always possible.